Recently I have begun to publish some original poetry by me on this blog. It has been an interesting experience. I've never published any of my poetry before and only rarely have even let anybody read it. So there has been considerable anxiety that has come with clicking on the publish button. The best way I can describe it is this way, I in my life on a few occasions have had a little too much to drink. And on one or two of those occasions I have shared intimate thoughts with others. The following day I experienced what I call an intimacy hangover. Which is that feeling you get the day after you've told someone a few very personal feelings you are not sure you wanted to share. Well that's the feeling I get after I publish poetry on my blog. It's not a good feeling. Questions swirl in my head, "does anyone like it?", "does anyone get it?", "OMG did I really publish that?".While blog surfing I have come across several blogs that are mostly poetry or writings about intimate feelings. I truly admire those bloggers. They, day after day share their most personal thoughts and feelings with the world. I'm sure that as I continue to publish I will continue to feel anxiety over it, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who hesitates sometimes for hours before finally clicking the PUBLISH button.
4 comments:
Girl, I hesitate almost always. I have really avoided writing some thoughts (personal) that I have had because I know the people who know me on this blog. Maybe we can both start anonymous blogs that we can contribute to under some fancy pseudonym, then, we can both share without fear of "the morning after"
Hi Lisa,
That is a great idea, starting another blog anonymously! I just may do that.
I think I would be a lot more comfortable doing that.
Thanks
Thank you for stopping by. I love your blog as well.
It's a interesting dichotomy. On one hand, I want to have the freedom to speak (and share) my truth..to give myself full permission to share my intimate thoughts and expressions of love....to tell myself it's ok to be lonely or sad for whatever moment and SHARE that, knowing that someone else is having those same feelings and that it's reallly OK. at the same time, i have to admit that i have cringed at thought of someone who actually knows me in 'real'time reading my blog. my blog is therapeutic for me and i've come to conclusion that i have something to say, i have a story to tell, a beautiful one, sometimes it's a fragile beauty, but it's still and always will forever be beautiful, no matter what i'm saying.
Kikimanjaro: High ans Lo,
"knowing that someone else is having those same feelings and that it's reallly OK"
Your words here say it all, for me that is key. Sometimes we think we are feeling a particular thing and we are alone in what we are going through, good or bad. The act of people sharing their thoughts and feelings becomes theraputic for the writer and the reader.
Thanks for commenting
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