Last night was my office Christmas party. It was held in a nice little boutique hotel. I was looking forward to it because I hadn't really been out in a while. I didn't go to the one last year so that was another reason I thought I'd show my face.The evening started really nicely. Some of my co-workers brought friends along so there were some (cute) new faces.
I sat down with my little clique and we of course began to talk about people. Mostly I just laughed. There is one woman in our group who is really funny. So she lead the conversation and most of the rest of us just enjoyed the monologue.
There was some really nice food there too. I was really surprised. I expected pigs-n-a blanket but they had all sorts of interesting things, they even had sushi.
I also had the pleasure of being approached by two guys. One of them was a little "country". The other guy was nice but he started rambling on about his ex-wife. Why do people do that?
I was also approached by a really pretty woman. She was really nice and it turned out that she was from New York, which is where I'm from. So we reminisced about home.
She grew up on Long Island in a town called Wyandanch. A lot of old-school rappers grew up in Wyandanch, which is it's main claim to fame. I think that idiot stereotype Flava Flav is from Wyandanch.
Anyway I spent most of the evening talking to my new N.Y. friend. The evening was pretty quiet until toward the end, when people were "liquored-up".
So that's when things really got interesting. One of my woman co-workers had been downing quite a few glasses of champagne. She then went through the usual stages of drunkenness.
At first she was "happy", smiling and hugging everyone and wishing us all Happy New Years and Merry Christmases.
Then she moved onto the "love" stage of drunkenness. She walked around telling everyone how much she loved them. A few people tried to get her to leave but of course that would have just too easy.
Finally she moved on to the last stage of drunkenness. The 'I'm going to find someone to be pissed off at stage'. That's the stage where the drunk stands in a corner and just starts staring at people with a mean glare. And if anyone returns the stare for more than a second, the drunk says "What the hell are you lookin' at!".
Naturally some other person who has also had a bit too much libation takes the bait and a drunken argument ensues. Which was the case last night. It was a marvel to see my drunken co-workers who are normally very nice, going at it cussing and stumbling all over each other.
After the obligatory few minutes of hesitation someone finally tried to intervene. That never goes well and it didn't go well last night.
That's when the two drunks forget they were arguing with each other and start arguing with the good samaritan co-worker, who's now sorry he tried to break up the fight.
Well you know how it went after that. Finally the fight(s) were broken up. The drunken parties were helped out. One in tears of course.
For the next year when anyone around the office mentions Christmas a certain two people will quietly duck out of the conversation and disappear.
How was your Christmas party this year?
*From the movie FAME
8 comments:
The Holiday Office Party. What can you say? It's always synonymous with some type of shenanigan involving seemingly mellow people. LOL! I didn't go to mine this year and I don't know that I will next year either.
I'm done with the whole "office thing". I'm cool w/my co-workers, but I just get my work done and I'm gone. There's usually some train wreck action going on that people talk about the next day.
Some things never change.
Hello from a fellow New Yorker!
New Yorkers unite! Let's get one thing straight: I'm from Wyandanch myself and no, Flava is NOT from my town (please give us a 'lil credit). I thinks he's from either Roosevelt or Hempstead. However, Rakim and rapper/actor Daryl "Chill" Mitchell ARE from Wyandanch.
As far as the job Christmas party (or the newly adopted "Holiday Party" for the politically correct)I followed my plan that I execute to perfection for all job related events. I came 1/2 hour late (just late enough for the festivities to be in full swing but not too late so everyone will ask why I'm so late) and immediately get a drink and begin fake conversation. I go from group to group and buy shots where applicable, never stopping with the fake convo. After an hour of this, I quietly dip and go to a real party for the remainder of the night. I've found that in situations where alcohol is flowing freely, it's best to get in and get out quickly before something regrettable happens.
LOL, yeah the office party's always give you something to talk about. I stopped going to them though. I am like well if I can barely stand you people while at work why would I spend my free time with you?
NYAC,
Shenanigans; that's it exactly! (lol) And hello right back at you!
Victor Moor,
Sorry to insult the great village of Wyandanch. (lol) I knew Flav was from the island somewhere.
Aren't EPMD and from out there too? There are a ton of rappers from the island.
That's a very good plan. I'll remember that for next year.
ClnMike,
I would hate to work with people I couldn't stand. That must be horrible. You poor thing! (lol)
My faculty went to a Karoake bar named "Yosemite Sam's". It was great! There was drinking but no one was drunk. I did "Survivor" by Destiny's Child - but my group and I called ourselves "Destiny's Moma's" Get it?? It was a fun evening.
Lisa,
Lol@Destiny's Moma's. Yosemite Sam's is such a funny name.
Well that sounds much more dignified than our little shindig last night.
Our bosses hosted it at the local Italian restaurant. But after they left is when the REAL party began.
My co-worker grabbed a mike, started rapping to Eminem. Then the owner came out and started partying with him. They took off their shirts, followed by their pants, until they decided to hell with it and got completely naked and ran around outside the restaurant.
Of course, before I got to see their bit parts (and I do mean BIT parts), the owner had a nice bump and grind session with my other coworker (a woman) where they decided to just finally switch clothing and so she wore his pants and he wore her mini skirt...
while dancing drunkenly to Eminem.
...and oh yeah, they still proceeded to make out for our amusement.
After the whole naked adventure, someone dressed my rapping coworker in a vegetable costume and so he proceeded to rap incoherently dressed as a giant vegetable (japanese radish) until he finally passed out on the floor.
And THAT was when his pregnant wife finally attended to him and decided it was time to leave.
As for the coworker who enjoyed a making-out/clothes-swapping session with the owner, she was quite disappointed to (later) discover that he is, alas, married and with a 2 year old.
And of course, I forgot to mention the other patrons (a group of Japanese women) who decided to get their free feels on my rapping coworker, cornering him in a section of the restaurant and leaving no area un-explored. AND the woman in the group who decided to wear a giant ladybug costume, complete with wings and bump and grind on the bartender, who had ALSO decided to take off his shirt and limp around )because he happened to be handicapped, to which my rapping coworker (when he realized he had initiated a pysically disabled person into the let's get naked fraternity) so eloquently expclaimed, with horror, no less
"I didn't know he was walking like that."
Because of course, a handicapped person getting naked is crossing the line.
There's got to be video footage of this on YOUtube by now--judging from the number of cellphones I saw recording the action.
Fun times.
DMB,
OMG!!!! That is so wild. It could be a movie! I bet the guy who was naked and passed out is still embarrassed, at least I hope he is. Lol.
That is an incredible office party.
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