Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Monica Syndrome

Christine Beatty


Why is it that when powerful men have illicit relationships the women always suffer the most? Let's consider the case of Former U.S. President Bill Clinton and Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

Bill Clinton seems to be doing just fine, after all he's out running for President again. What I mean to say is, he's out campaigning for his wife, who is running for the Presidency. But Monica Lewinsky? Last I heard she was hawking Handbags. Which is not a bad thing until you consider that in December 2006, Lewinsky graduated with a master's degree in Social Psychology from the London School of Economics.

According to reports she has complained that having at least one Clinton as an enemy has made it extremely hard to find a job commensurate with her education.

Now in Detroit another woman who made the mistake of having an illicit affair with a powerful man appears to have been thrown under the proverbial bus.

Christine Beatty who it seems had an affair with Kwame Kilpatrick, the Mayor of Detroit, resigned yesterday after the relationship became public. Ms Beatty was the Mayor's Chief of Staff.

Mayor Kilpatrick as of this moment has not indicated any inclination to resign. This even though in the last couple of days it was reported by several Detroit news outlets that Mayor Kilpatrick spent last weekend at a luxury resort with a women, who was not his wife or Christine Beatty. The woman's name is reported to be Carmen Slowsky.

By the way, Kwame Kilpatrick's wife appears to be doing a Hillary Clinton and standing by her man.

The reaction I have seen in the media and on blogs is the usual blame the woman thing. And why should so much blame be shouldered by Christine Beatty? After all she was not elected by the people of Detroit to represent them, Mr Kilpatrick was. But that hasn't stopped many people from making her the villain.

So what is going to happen to Ms Beatty? Well if Monica Lewinsky is an example she will spend the rest of her life as a footnote in a powerful mans life. And more than likely the object of scorn.

And Mr Kilpatrick; will he have the opportunity to rebuild his career like Bill Clinton? Probably.

I'm pretty sure that when Monica Lewinsky is 80 years old she will still be best known for her sexual association with Bill Clinton.

I hope the same fate does not befall Ms Beatty.


Do you agree with me or do you think women like Ms Beatty get what they deserve?


22 comments:

tasha212 said...

I commented on another blog about this very issue. It's unfair that the women get thrown under the bus and the men, who are just as guilty as they are, get the chance to move on and redeem themselves. It's pretty sad but that's the nature of our society.

XJ said...

MDC,

I absolutely agree - women are still sex objects - plain and simple. There is a lot more difference between a man and a woman then between a black man and a white man. I really would like to see a woman president because I feel women would focus on different things and make real changes - I just wish it was someone other than Hillary. I really wish she would have left her husband - that takes strength too. And yes I think she is in the closet - overheard a conversation at a golf course where some rich lesbians were putting on the green and didn't pay me any mind!

Jackie said...

Not to mention that Bill Clinton is making million$ from speeches. Millions! And yes now there is a chance that he may again wander the halls of the Whitehouse and this time he'll have free reign with no office to consider. (Not that he considered it before.) While I don't have a lot of sympathy for Monica because she was not innocent in that affair, but the long term punishment is not even close to equal. Ms. Beatty may have to move to another city. Poor Monica has no such options. Not fair.

Ehav Ever said...

I don't know if I would say that she and women like her get what they deserve. I think it is simply a part of the reality of women who have relationships with married men. Especially, when it is with men in power.

Many times in history socieities often accepted the idea of a powerful man having a mistress or more than one. In fact in early American history many of the leaders of the country had mistresses, and it was a culture that was somewhat accepted (even by the wives). Of course there was not much their wives could do about it anyway.

I think that any person who decides to have a relationship with a married person is putting themselves at risk of being caught and loosing face, so to speak.

If the results of a woman doing it is worse than that of a man this should be a wake up call for women not to do it. It is kind of like, if an African American man is more likely to be put away for life for doing a crime, that is a good incentive not to do crime. Choosing to do crime with that as the known current reality is just asking for a life sentence. Whether it is fair or not, sometimes doing the right thing is its own reward.

Any person having an affair with a married person is asking for trouble, plus there are of course those pesky moral issues.

jose said...

You know I totally agree with you on this one. Unfortunately, it's just another case of the sexism that befalls this country; things were hot for Monica from 1998-2000, making appearances all over TV and other media, and now she can't even get a job having to do with her own education. Thus, she's forced to sell handbags. Handbags!? Symbolic? Maybe. She's had to carry a lot more than that over the last 8-10 years. And not to say that these ladies had no responsibility for what they do, but they usually get the short end of the stick when it comes to these situations.

Tami said...

It doesn't bother me that Beatty or Lewinsky received negative public backlash from their actions, because what both of them did was abhorrent. It is not surprising that Lewinsky is a footnote to history, because prior to the Clinton affair, she was a private person. There is no reason we should know what she is doing now. You're right, in public, her name will always be associated with Bill and BJs. I think Beatty will have an easier time erasing the scandal. Unless you live in Detroit or are a blogger, her name likely means nothing to you, even today.

It DOES bother me that Lewinsky and Beatty get painted as Jezebels while Clinton and Kilpatrick get painted as studs. Clinton even gets to be called America's first black president. It's the old double standard in action.

Now, I find what Kilpatrick did worse that what Clinton did. By all accounts, Clinton continued to do the people's business in office, which is what we hired him for. The only scandal was that he and Lewinsky were taking unauthorized...er...breaks...during the day. I thought it was ridiculous that we spent time impeaching a president over an affair, while Bush and his cronies have made a mockery of our Constitution and laws and...nothing. If Hillary is over it, I am too.

Kilpatrick seems to have ignored his job and used the people's money to be all "playa playa." Can the citizens of Detroit get him out of office?

jjbrock said...

MDC great article, I agree with you 100%. The people elected Kilpatrick as there city leader. He is the one who should resign.

I understand that he has a history of this kind of stuff. For him to give a statement saying that it is old news that he and his wife was working it out and to let them do it in peace.

That statement was very weak. It seem to me he has no respect for that office.

Anali said...

From what I've seen, women do tend to suffer more consequences than men. We still live in a very sexist society. Sure in both cases these women knew what they were getting into, but so did the men. The men just tend to get away with more. I think I also remember reading something a while ago that in cases of murder of a spouse, women who killed their husbands tended to get the death penalty or life in prison more than men who killed their wives.

Anonymous said...

First off I am not resigning from shit. They'd have to fire me. I don't humble myself to anyone. I'm not apologzing to anyone. Not to the his wife, the public, no one. And they'd prolly look at me like that bitch. Whatever. But unlike Monica, she's not white thus not important enough to be rememebered.

Now that being said I wouldn't mess up my life for over the big D. Cuz it ain't never been that good to me. It doesn't pay my oil bill. And everything is about the oil bill from October to May here in Maine.

Blu Jewel said...

In order not to sound redundant, I'll simply say that I agree with your post entirely and with the comments.

BOTH parties willingly participated in the affair, so BOTH parties should suffer the fall out from it...sad fact, is that only one will. *sigh*

Nick said...

I totally agree. What Christine Beatty deserves is the same treatment as the Mayor but of course she won't get it because men are usually forgiven for their sexual transgressions while women are blamed for them.

Danielle said...

They are both equally accountable. What they did was beneath contempt. I take no sides when stuff like this goes down. They are both adults, knew what they were doing and just didn't give a damn.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

he never should have gotten married if he wanted to lay the field...and i think this space should have ben devoted to what happened in Lima, Ohio insted of him

Nicole said...

I am never a proponent of double standards and I think that if we're going to let his part in the affair be between him and his wife, then the other woman should be spared from our outrage as well. However, she knowingly had an affair with a married man, so she has to take some responsibility for her part in her "downfall" (but certainly not for the rest of her life or career). I also think it's sad that the wife will now be judged for whatever decision she makes...to stay and fight for her marriage or leave. Just proves once again that adultery isn't worth the consequences.

Baby Please said...

I ain't grand angel of the world or nothing but the reality is that Lewinsky and Beatty were having sexual liaisons with married men; powerful married men, at that.

Times musta changed. Used to be that the scandalous women would get jeans contracts, playboy contracts, etc. Two who come to mind are, er. Jessica something-or-other, years back, Jim Baker's mistress. And there was another woman who was having an affair with a politician (was he a presidential candidate some years ago? My memory fails me). Both of them did aiight. There's prolly others who I can't remember - skyrocketing to fame with dough, modeling contracts and things like that.

I see your point, Mes Deux.

I guess my feeling is that they made their beds, so now lay in it.

Mes Deux Cents said...

Mango Mama - Your comment went to the wrong post so I moved it for you. :)

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Mango Mama said...

MDC, I feel you and I do agree, in these situations, the women a have a harder road to plough, but let's not forget they had a choice and they chose to have affairs with married men (who also seem to be absolute jerks), and karma is a m----- f-----. A lot of women are drawn to very powerful men and when you step into that game, they shold be fully aware that the stakes are incredibly high.

January 30, 2008 6:09 AM

Mes Deux Cents said...

Tasha,

I agree but things need to change. We women should not be apart of bad talking these women and letting the men get a pass. I've seen that a lot with this case.

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XJ,

Hillary; Really? Lol
___________________________________

Jackie,

Exactly!! Bill is rich and Monica can't get a job; what the heck?
___________________________________

Ehav,

That's true, I don't think Ms Beatty is blameless but I don't think that there is equal justice.
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Jose,

Yep and now Ms Beatty is unemployed and an outcaste in her own city.
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Tami,

Yeah I was listening to Detroit radio tonight online. They talked about his use of the city credit card and all sorts of sordid stuff.
___________________________________

JJ B,

He has a long history of cheating on his wife and cheating the people of Detroit.
___________________________________

Anali,

I've seen stuff on PBS about women sentenced to life for defending themselves against their husbands. It's really sad.

Guys many times get a slap on the wrist and a few years in jail then come out and do it again.
___________________________________

Anon,

She'll be remembered in Detroit, that's for sure.
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Blu Jewel,

Yep, everything is set up to excuse him and make her pay.
___________________________________

Nick,

Exactly; His wife is standing by him so people will forgive him since she is.

But Ms Beatty loses her career and her reputation.
___________________________________

Danielle,

Equally accountable but not equally punished.
___________________________________

Torrance,

Have you written about what happened in Lima?
___________________________________

Nicole,

Adultery is like a bomb; sooner or later it's going to go off and you never know how many people are going to be hurt.
___________________________________

BP,

I don't think they are handing out those contracts anymore. From what I know Monica didn't get jack. I suppose she came along a decade too late.

Lol@Grand Angel of the world.

___________________________________

Mango Mama,

That's true, the stakes are really high. But they are higher; it seems, for the women.
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Baby Please said...

Eh... gone are the times when scandal paid. It's all PC now.

What's the world coming to?!

:)

jen said...

I half agree with what you've written. Yes, women in extra-marital affairs do draw the most ire from the public. Unfair? Yes indeed.

With that said, Beatty chose to hook-up with Kilpatrick. I don't care that she is the subordinate in this relationship. You can still say no. Kilpatrick's administration has been tarnished since his first year in office as mayor. Everyone knows that. He's been in the media's scope since then. You don't want to get caught in a scandal? Don't get into bed with a married man who's had numerous news reports of side flings. I don't care if it's true or not. This is a public office, not some private fraternity and sorority society. There's some decorum that is required. No one wants to think about that. Nope, it's more fun to beat up on Ms. Beatty and pat Kilpatrick on the back for just "being a man".

Speaking of Kilpatrick, he deserves to be booted out of office and drummed out of the city of Detroit. Detroit's got enough problems without him helping it go bankrupt and lay off employee after employee. I've heard the malformed opinions that he's done so much to help the city. Not one thing he has done couldn't have been done by someone else. Or hasn't been thought of before. He's done a lot to undermine the city. He needs to go and the people of Detroit need to realize that. Until then, they can expect little to change, or a very slow march into the future. I won't even consider moving back until at least he is no longer mayor of the city.

Mes Deux Cents said...

Baby Please,

Lol

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Jen,

I think we agree about Christine. She made a really bad choice but she is going to suffer much more than him.

I heard Kilpatrick's apology last night on WCHB radio. I knew he wasn't going to resign.

What I found really interesting was people calling in and saying what you are saying. That he really hasn't done that much for the city.

The callers also said that the downtown that he claims to have revitalized really isn’t that revitalized.

Well there are still those perjury charges to consider. He may end up in jail.

Gunfighter said...

I'm not going to defend anyone, here. Screw around with people that you shouldn't be playing with, and the likely result is bad stuff.

Mes Deux Cents said...

Gunfighter,

I agree, I'm not defending Christine Beatty, just saying her fate seems a lot worse than his.

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About Me

West Coast, United States
African American, Poet?, Vegetarian, Music lover, Agoraphobic, Social Phobic

My Favorite Poet

My Favorite Poet
Staceyann Chin

My Favorite Track Athlete

My Favorite Track Athlete
Christine Arron