On Blogging while working

Click on comic for large view

I blog everyday at work, that is I blog surf while working. I don't usually post any thing while I'm at work unless there is some sort of news story. I also usually don't respond to comments at work. I like to take my time responding to comments on my blog, so I wait until I get home.

My blogging pattern from work is usually me going to a particular blog, taking a peek then going back to read a post and then going back to comment. Sometimes I'll visit a blog 5 or 6 times during the workday before I'm able to read everything I want to read.

I have my own office so there isn't anyone looking over my shoulder per se but I have people constantly coming in an out of my office. I don't really want everyone at work knowing I'm blog surfing so I usually minimize the page I'm on when someone walks in.

I used to get frustrated about having to visit a blog 5 or 6 times before I got to read what I wanted. Now though I'm used to it. In fact now that's my pattern at home too. I'm usually doing something else even at home while I blog surf. So I still duck in and out of a particular blog.

Also I get distracted by the links at a blog. So I'll start to read a post then I might see an interesting link and click on it, read a little there and then click on another link. Before I know it I'm 10 blogs away from the original blog I was reading. Then I have to go all the way back and finish reading that blog. But that's a really good way to find interesting new blogs.

I also find new blogs in the comments. If I see a comment that stands out I'll usually check to see if that person has a blog.

No one at work knows that I have a blog. If they did then they would want to see it. And then I'd have to censor what I say on my blog. So since I really want my blog to be a place where I can just be me and be honest, I just don't tell them.

It would be so weird to have someone from work comment on my blog!

And I haven't even told my friends I have a blog. I would feel weird about them reading my blog, it's my little personal space. Also If I want to talk about a particular relationship I might not feel comfortable doing so if people that I see everyday were reading my blog.

What's your blog surfing pattern? Do you surf at work? Do your co-workers know that you have a blog? And do your friends know?

On John Edwards

One of my blog sisters is a supporter of Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards. Honestly I had not given much thought to Mr Edwards until I learned of Tami's (What Tami Said) support for him. Since then I've been listening more intently when he speaks and when there are news pieces about him. Although he does seem to have a tough time getting air-time, Senators Clinton and Obama seem to dominate in that respect.

I have come to a couple of conclusions about the former North Carolina Senator, Mr Edwards. First; I think he will actually stand up for the disenfranchised. Unlike other candidates I think when he speaks about doing something for the poor, he really means it. I think he fancies himself a modern day Bobby Kennedy.

Second; I think he has the temperament to deal effectively with both sides of the isle, as they say. He seems to have the skills not to make more enemies than he can handle. To me that's a really important element of being President. For instance I think Sen. Clinton will have more enemies than almost any other President in history on her first day in office, should she be elected.

So, will I vote for Mr Edwards. Well my first choice would have been Dennis Kucinich, but he's unelectable. Mainly because the media doesn't take him seriously. So as it stands now, John Edwards is number one on my list. There is still much time for that to change, I'm hoping Sen Obama will impress me but so far he hasn't.

The only major obstacle between me voting for Mr Edwards is this video. If I can just get this out of my head he may get my vote.

What do you think of John Edwards?

On The Quiet Boycott

(What I won't be driving in 2008)

I visited the blog What About Out Daughters? this morning a saw a post about PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). I have a grudge against PETA for their 2005 ad campaign which juxtaposed pictures of African Americans and Animals. I suppose their point was don't treat animals the way African Americans were treated. Since then I have no use what so ever for PETA. They are on my boycott list.

Gina's post at What About Our Daughters? made a valid point about PETA's ability to get their message out. I agree they can get their message out effectively and quickly. Even when it's the wrong message.

But seeing Gina's post about PETA and how I feel about them made me wonder how many other African Americans quietly boycott companies that offend them racially.

I have a list of companies that I will not under any circumstance patronize. Kentucky Fried Chicken is one. They have been using the racist song Sweet Home Alabama in their ads for quite sometime. And even though there is a KFC just a few blocks from me (which would be very convenient on those days when I don't feel like cooking) I refuse to ever shop with them again.

Volkswagen is another company I refuse to patronize. Volkswagen has an SUV called the Touareg. The name Touareg refers to a nomadic people who live in West Africa that where instrumental in capturing and selling slaves in the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. Even today the Touareg are known to hold slaves and to be very racist against Black Africans.

So Volkswagen will never, ever get any of my money. Not one year from now or 20 years from now.

Another company I refuse to patronize is Viacom. They are the media giant responsible for more stereotyping of African Americans then any other entity. On their cable outlets you can see great examples of Viacom's use of stereotyping for profit on VH1, BET and MTV.

So since ala carte cable is not available, this past summer I cancelled my cable. I refuse to give any money to Viacom. I will not help to pay for the racist programming they put on the air.

Every time you pay your cable bill a portion of your money goes directly to Viacom.

So even though there are no mass boycotts of these companies by African Americans, I quietly boycott them myself. I will never forget these offences by these companies and refuse to cross my own self imposed picket line.

Recently at work we had a luncheon, the group in charge bought KFC. And even though I was really looking forward to eating lunch that day (I was so hungry). Once I realized what they had planned for lunch I declined to eat.

And even though I plan to buy a car in 2008 and would have surely had a Volkswagen Beetle on my list of possible choices. I refuse to even consider a Volkswagen.

Do you quietly boycott companies that have offended your racial sensibilities? If so what companies and why?

On Christmas...

Pagan God Odin AKA Santa Claus

"the Christmas celebration was created by the early Church in order to entice pagan Romans to convert to Christianity without losing their own winter celebrations. Certain prominent gods and goddesses of other religions in the region had their birthdays celebrated on December 25, including Ishtar, Sol Invictus and Mithras." - Wikipedia



Did you know that no one is really sure when Jesus Christ was born? Some churches celebrate His birth as January 6. Other scholars think Christ was born in the spring or summer and yet others think He was born in November.

But everyone generally agrees that Jesus Christ was not born on December 25th.

And did you know that Santa Claus is based on a pagan God named Odin? Apparently Odin was a pagan God in the mythology of people who would today be considered Germanic or Northern Europeans. There were tales of kids leaving their boots by the fireplace and Odin would leave food in them.

So when we celebrate Christmas aren't we mixing Christianity with paganism?

Do you think that most people know the origins of Christmas and that December 25th has nothing to do with the birth of Christ? What do you think about this?

And on the subject of religion; read a great post from BoringBlackChick here.

On Church...

I'm trying to find a church. I don't currently attend church very regularly. Okay that was an understatement. I rarely go. I want to but I just have a hard time finding a church that fits.

First I'm not interested in church related drama. My experience has been that there is as much gossip and backstabbing in some churches as out in the world. I also don't want a 'preacher' that is going to give hour diatribes about sin, who's sinning and the hell that they are going to.

I crave lessons not admonishment.

Also I don't want a church that gets bogged down with politics or one that is trying to be in lock-step with White right wing evangelical churches.

What I'm really craving is a church and a person of God that delivers a message of how to incorporate spirituality into my daily life. I want to learn how to use religious text to navigate the complexities of life in this new century.

So I'm on the hunt for a church. I would really like to find a church with a woman pastor. That's not easy. Men dominate the pulpit it seems. I think the right woman would be able to understand the difficulties that women face in today's world. Especially single women.

I think one of my goals for the new year is to find a progressive church and became apart of that community.

I wonder if I should look outside of traditional churches. Maybe even other religions.

Do you have a hard time finding a church that feels like "home"? Also do you think that a woman is better able to minister to woman?

If you were raised in the Christian church would you or have you as an adult considered other religions?

Art Attribution: "Going To Church" by William H. Johnson

On how to avoid an embarrassing moment

Monday while on my commute home on the bus I sat debating whether or not I should get off the bus and do some grocery shopping. As the stop approached for the market I thought that if I did do my shopping on a Monday evening I might avoid the usual crowds. One of my hobbies is avoiding crowds.

So I decided I would and got off the bus. Once inside the market I was happy to find that the it was mostly empty. Great! I got my cart and proceeded to shop. I'm really a quick shopper so it only took about ten minutes and I was done.

I made my way to the check-out. There were just a couple of people ahead of me so my little shopping trip was going well, I thought.

After few minutes of waiting it was my turn to check-out. As the checker was scanning my stuff I had a really disturbing thought. I remembered that I hadn't transferred any money onto my debit card since Friday. I furiously tried to remember how much I transferred and how much I'd spent since then. But I was having a hard time remembering.

Just then the checker was done and it was the moment of truth, time to slide my debit card. So I slid my card and entered my PIN. Then the long wait. Oh darn! The transaction was denied! Did I enter my PIN incorrectly? I tried again.

Again the transaction was NOT APPROVED.

Arrrgh!

At this point the lady behind me in line was giving me one of those sideways looks that said "Girl you know you don't have any money on that card so why are you wasting everyone's time".

I tried to remember if I had any cash on me, then I was relieved to remember my emergency money. Do you carry emergency money? My mom drilled it into my head that a woman should ALWAYS have emergency money in her wallet. She'd say "You never know what's going to happen" and "You might get stranded and need to take a cab".

After I remembered my 'emergency' money, I gave the woman standing behind me in line a sideways glance that said "See miss smarty-pants, I HAVE money, so there".

Only I shouldn't have been thinking about her I should have been thinking about that ipod docking station I'd bought the previous Saturday afternoon because it was on sale. What a bargain I thought as I pulled out my EMERGENCY MONEY to pay for it.

Drats!

Okay, that's it no more options. There was no point in me continuing to stand there trying to look un-embarrassed. So meekly I explained to the 'gettin'-a-attitude' checker that I didn't have any cash on me. "Sorry about that" I told her as I walked away and left all my stuff behind.

I was so glad to get out of that store.

And what's the moral of this little tale? Never spend your emergency money on ipod accessories! (and don't forget to check your debit card balance)

On watching sports for all the wrong reasons

(Terrell Owens)

There are only three sporting events I will plan to watch on a regular basis. Those are track and field, women's professional basketball and women's college basketball. Everything else is mainly of no interest to me.

The only thing that will compel me to watch anything other than those events I mention is if I want to root for a particular player who is unpopular or root against a particular team. Example, I will watch the NFL's New England Patriots play so that I can root against them. I still don't have the interest to sit through a whole game, but I'll tune in every now and then in hopes that they are losing. I root against them because recently it was discovered that they had been cheating. And as far as I could tell they didn't receive just punishment for it, just a slap on the wrist. So to me they are just a bunch of cheaters and that motivates me to root for whoever they are playing against.

Another example is Terrell Owens. He has been constantly demonized in the press, a lot of it it racist as far as I can see. So I will tune in to see him play and root for him. He currently plays for the Dallas Cowboys but I rooted for him when he played for the Philadelphia Eagles too. So if he is playing I will tune in intermittently to cheer him on. It's not so much that I really admire him or anything, I just think that sports journalism is full of racists who don't give Black players the same treatment as White ones. Don't get me wrong, Terrell has done some goofy things but I really don't think he's as bad as the media tries to paint him.

I also watch Tiger Woods play golf to see how badly he's beating the golfers he's playing against. I will usually only tune in on Sundays. That's usually the final round. And if Tiger is winning but only by a little I won't watch. But if he's winning by a huge margin or is behind and is on the chase I will watch to see if he can increase his lead or catch up and really kick butt!

I wonder if there are other people who watch sporting events for these non-sports driven reasons? I suppose most people just tune in for the love of the sport.

Oh well.

On being "Post-Black"

I read an interesting post about African American bloggers. The post was by Shelly of the blog BoringBlackChick. Here is an excerpt:

"The main thing though - and the thing I want to discuss here today - is that virtually every black blogger I have come across from the US has race and racial issues making up a HUGE chunk of whatever they write about: Black music & culture. Black on black crime. African American demographics/surveys. Black politicians. Media representation of black people. Black hair. Black people in education. Middle class blacks vs. "Low class"/poor blacks. House Negroes vs. Field Negroes. Black conservatives vs. black radicals. The state of the black family. Mixed race relationships/friendships.

You get the idea. Whether it's serious or humourous, intellectual or frivolous, it is very apparent that African American bloggers have race at the top of their agenda. Everything is distilled through an exclusively race-biased lens or is brought back to black/white racial politics."

Read the rest of Shelly's post here.

This and a previous post by me along with comments on that post have lead me to ponder being "post-Black" To me the definition of post-Black is when a Black person no longer primarily defines her or him self as being Black. It does not mean that one is saying that they are no longer Black, just that being Black is not necessarily the most important component of who they are.

Is this the direction that some Black people are trending?

When I examine my own feelings about race I consider two schools of my thought. First, that race is an invention of European Supremacists hundreds of years ago. And that my following this construct of race still leaves me under their thumb all these years later. And that if race is not real then I'm living my life being partly defined by something that is non-existent.

Second, I feel that over time, even though race is a falsehood, that cultural similarities have developed between people who have been classified of the same race. So that even if technically race does not exist, it exists in practice.

My question is, would it be in the collective best interest of African Americans and all Black people to disavow race as an identifying factor? Would we be better off discarding race as our primary form of identity?

Lets look at what might happen if we did.

We would need to look closer at people as individuals rather than having the crutch of race as a device to find a place within a group.

Also we would have to in many case redefine who we our in our own minds. If we have been taught and conditioned to use the color of our skin as an indicator of who we are then without that we will have to look deeper.

The larger society would eventually be forced to identify us in other ways. For instance if we refuse to answer questions about race on a job application, on a census report or on a government application for things such as a drivers license, then society would be forced to look for other ways to identify us.

Politically we might not be lumped into a group simply based on color. Yesterday I read an article at ChicagoTribune.com, where the headline read: Black voters focus on Clinton, Obama. My first thought when seeing that was that I'm Black and I'm not focusing on those particular candidates. The article did not differentiate between middle class Blacks, soccer mom Blacks, Single, married or evangelical Blacks, just Blacks. Those demographic categories are available to Whites, so why not us?

And on a spiritual note, I wonder if ,whatever Supreme being that you believe in, intended for us to live our lives being Black? How much of who "God" intended for us to be has been and is being lost in being Black? Shouldn't we have the freedom just to be human?

What are your thoughts? Do you see a "post-Black" era approaching. Do you hope that we are moving toward being "post-Black"? Do you think being "post-Black would be a good thing or bad?

As Shelly notes, we African Americans spend an inordinate amount of time being, talking and thinking about being Black. Just imagine what we could accomplish if we could use all that energy for other things.

Imagine what we could have done with all the seconds, minutes, hours , days, months, years and decades that we have spent pondering race since the first African was dragged ashore here in the U.S.

On O.J. And The Jena6...

What do O.J. Simpson and the so-called Jena6 have in common?

Well it appears that they both at some point have had at least in part the support of a significant part of the African American community.

Amazingly the same sentiments that are driving the Jena6 conversations are the same that garnered support for O.J in his first and infamous trial.

It's not that many African Americans were actually big fans of O.J., it was simply that for all of our time in this country we, African Americans, have had a very difficult time finding fairness in the justice system. So when we had the chance to see a wealthy Black man fight the good fight against what many of us see as the enemy, we were happy to cheer him and his ultimate victory in court.

Since that trial in which O.J. Simpson was found not guilty of killing his ex-wife and her companion Ron Goldman, O.J has proven himself to be unworthy of the support that he received. He's been running around for the past decade acting as loony as a loony bird. Constantly being in the news for some reason or the other and none of it positive.

Now he's back in the news, on trial in Las Vegas for supposedly trying to rob some guy at gunpoint (or at least there were guns in the room), he says to retrieve property that belonged to him. Do any of us really care the outcome? Probably very few of us, since with us O.J has shot his wad, pardon me for being so indelicate.

This brings me to the Jena6.

The Jena6 as I'm sure you know are a group of Black teens (I'm not sure if they are all still teens) who beat up a White teen. It appears that their attack had something to do with a noose being displayed at the high school that they attended in Jena, Louisiana. (Are they still in school?)

Anyway, there was at first a surge of support and outrage (mainly in the Black blogisphere at first) about their arrests and being charged as adults, first with attempted murder and later with assault.

At this point the charges have been reduced for all of them and only one remains in jail, he is said to have violated his parole since he was already on parole before the beating incident occurred.

Well, now many of the supporters of the Jena6 are wondering if their support was in vein or given to the wrong guys. Since the big protest in Jena by African Americans from all over the country, the boys from Jena have done a very O.J like job of getting in the news for the wrong things.

Some of them were seen at a BET awards show walking the red carpet and flashing Jena6 (gang) signs (pictured above). And even more recently some of the parents of the Jena6 have started a mini war, with the help of a supposedly well know radio DJ, against at least one organization that helped them by soliciting donations to pay their legal expenses.

In other words, as Attorney Mom at the blog Character Corner would say, they just don't know that they should sit their respective "azz's down" and be thankful.

So just like O.J. Simpson who came before them, the Jena 6 are persona non grata for many in the Black community. It just goes to show that obvious lessons are not obvious to everybody.

I would really like to see O.J Simpson just disappear into the sunset, and maybe he could take the Jena6 along with him.

On Veterans Day...

Historians when talking about the service of African Americans in the military have said time and time again, that Blacks served to prove their patriotism.

I bought this explanation of the history of African Americans military service until I thought about it more closely.

I asked myself, didn't African Americans have something to protect too? Didn't African Americans who served do so because they had families at home? African Americans have a way of life just like anyone else that we want to protect. And what of the hard fought and won rights that African Americans have in this country. Rights that many lost their lives fighting for here on U.S. soil. Weren't those rights worth fighting for?

It is condescending to suggest that the only reason that African Americans have chosen to serve in the United States military is because we wanted to prove our patriotism to Whites.

African Americans have served this country and lost their lives since the Revolutionary War. We continued that tradition in the Civil War. In that war we were defiantly fighting for our own rights.

African Americans have fought in every war this country has ever fought.

Obviously our service in the military has had its difficulties. The segregation that we faced previously in the military. Also the specter of seeing captured foreign troops treated better than us by the U.S. military. Most of us have read the stories about captured Nazi troops riding on the front of troop trains while serving Black soldiers were relegated to the back of the train.

Even today there are challenges. Recently an African American soldier named LaVena Johnson may have been murdered by a fellow soldier or soldiers and the U.S. Army refuses to investigate.

Muhammad Ali said when faced with serving in Viet Nam that, (paraphrasing) no Viet Cong had ever called him the N word, so why would he want to fight them. Muhammad Ali's stance shows that we were not mindlessly serving our country. That we thought long and hard about service and what it meant not just in the short term, but what it meant for us as a people and from a global perspective.

So as this Veterans Day is commemorated, I hope that we African Americans will remember the millions of Black men and women that have fought and sometimes lost their lives to protect the freedoms the WE have.

And that this country is worthy of protecting because our ancestors in very large part built this place called America.

So let's remember The Tuskegee Airmen and Dorie Miller (pictured above) and The Buffalo Soldiers. Let's not short change our own history simply because we have had and still have many gripes with this nation.

Our history is just as important as anyone elses.

On the Jena6...

I commute by bus everyday. The first rule of riding the bus is making sure that when a bus pulls up you check to see if it's the right bus. If you don't, and you take the wrong bus, who knows where you will end up.

Such appears to be the case of those who supported the so-called Jena6. Those are the group of teen African American boys in Jena Louisiana that became the focus of many Black bloggers and then the likes of Rev. Al Sharpton.

The Jena6 for those who don't know were arrested for beating up a White youth. The beating incident may have been sparked by a White student putting a noose on a tree at the local high school. The noose was apparently some sort of message to Black students who had inquired about sitting under a tree that amazingly had been designated as a Whites only tree.

Anyway, I haven't written about the Jena6, because as I said I try to always get on the right bus. From what I have been reading about the Jena6 over the last several weeks, they are defiantly the wrong bus.

First they appeared at a Viacom/ BET event walking the red carpet and throwing up Jena6 (gang?) signs. Now it appears as if the parents of some or all of the boys are in the midst of a money grab with the help of some supposedly well known radio host called Michael Baisden. Whom I have only just recently heard of. I guess I'm out of the brand new celeb loop.

So it looks like many African Americans are now having to just shake their heads at the Jena6 and their families. Their behavior has been anything but what one would consider grateful.

I hope in the future all those well meaning African Americans who are willing to protest decide to better vet those they are protesting for.

This reminds me on some levels of those who protested to save the life of convicted murderer Stanley "Tookie" Williams. A man who is credited with, among other heinous things, founding one of the two most brutal gangs in America. Yet Jessie Jackson and others decided to protest for his life. My question, did Jessie protest for all the little kids who have been caught in the crossfire of the gang Williams founded?

Just because someone is Black does not mean they are worthy of support from the Black community. Some people end up in the trouble they get in because they deserve it.

Read more about the Jena6 from What About our Daughters and Character Corner.

Sur la Beauté

(Fashion model Liya Kebede)

I love beautiful things. I love beautiful people, beautiful music, beautiful places, beautiful clothes, if it's beautiful I like it. Recently something made me wonder if my love of beauty has made or is making me shallow. My initial answer would be no but after further thought I would have to answer maybe.

As I look back I can see that there have been times when I have passed on opportunities to know people or experience places because I didn't deem them beautiful or attractive. That is a hard pill to swallow about myself. I wonder why I value beauty so much? Is it purely the aesthetic pleasure that beauty brings? Or might there be more complicated and insidious reasons?

If a complete stranger walks up to me my reaction will be based on their attractiveness. I think that would be a subconscious reaction. Isn't that normal? Don't we all have those kinds of reactions? Don't babies respond positively to beautiful faces?

Author Malcolm Gladwell talks about this in his book Blink: The Power Of Thinking Without Thinking. As the title suggests Gladwell examines decisions we make in the blink of an eye. If we examine those types of decisions, what will it say about us? That we favor certain things simply based on appearance? If a neighborhood looks bad and our first instinct is to avoid it, isn't that a smart choice? But what have we missed out on because of that snap judgement?

Other implications are more serious. Such as snap judgements based on race.

What If a paramedic or a doctor makes a snap judgement about the person being treated based on appearance? What if a police officer makes a decision based on a persons appearance, while having her gun drawn? In those cases a decision made in the blink of an eye may mean life or death.

This topic jumped into my head because on a recent morning I decided to watch a Sade concert DVD. As I watched it I thought how amazingly beautiful Sade is. And then for some reason I wondered if I would be such a big Sade fan if she were average looking. And an extension of that, would she be as popular as she is if it were not for her beauty? I'm not sure if initially I would have been as open to Sade's unique singing style had I not admired her beauty. So does that make me shallow? I want to find a reason to say no but it might.

Would Tracy Chapman be a bigger star if society thought of her as beautiful? Is the only reason I live in northern California because of it's beauty? Have I chosen my friends based on beauty? Did I buy my PC based on appearance? I didn't even know my PC burned Cd's until I got it home.

This is not easy to think about, I don't want to think of myself as being shallow. I want to blame the society I live in that promotes beauty above all else. I want to say that I am only a product of my environment. But whatever the reason, if I'm making this assessment then I ought to make changes.

I need to look deeper, judge less quickly and be more open to other kinds of beauty. The kinds of beauty that are not necessarily apparent at first glance.

This is as they say, a teachable moment. I have the information and now I simply need to apply it.

On Commenting...

I have over the last few months become very fond of commenting on blogs. I like the interaction between blogger and commenter. It's nice to leave a comment and then to go back hours later and find a response from the blogger. It's also nice to acknowledge someones post. I have seen quite a few posts that not only deserve a comment but a standing ovation.

There are bloggers who do copious research and bloggers who bare their souls. Those I think are the bloggers who are the definition of blogging. I like to comment when I see that someone has done a lot of work either literally or emotionally for a post. I am continually amazed at the depth of thought that bloggers put into their blogs.

I sometimes read a post and it's so thought provoking that I have to come back hours or a day later to comment. Some posts require by their excellence a certain level of thought be put into the comments.

On some blogs the comments section is a forum and a community of it's own. Some comments sections are almost a clique. I feel that everyone knows each other, if only from commenting, and am too intimidated to leave a comment.

There is only one thing I don't like about commenting. That is when I put a lot of thought into a comment and the blogger doesn't respond. I really hate that. I know that some comments are more rhetorical and don't really require any sort of feedback. But I'm talking about the comments that are communicative, one's that I may even pose a question or offer a theory regarding the post. So a non-response sometimes feels like the blogger is saying your comment made no sense or does not matter. Lately though I have been trying to notice if the blogger just generally does not respond and find that some bloggers for what ever reason don't comment on their own blog. My unrequited comments still hurt my feelings though (sniff sniff), but I'll be okay.

I've only had one blogger be rude and she was really young and her rudeness was more sarcasm. I think she was trying to impress her usual commenters. Anyway once was all it took, I haven't been back to her blog.

I have only recently begun to post comments that are in opposition to the post. I use to just disagree in silence, but on re-thinking, I realized that sometimes disagreeing is apart of the blogging process. And some of the most enjoyable comments I've read have been in opposition of the bloggers point of view. if I do happen to leave a comment that disagrees, I try to be as positive as possible in the process. Sometimes it's informative to disagree. I've had bloggers respond to my comment and compel me to see a different point of view.

Commenting or reading comments is also a great way of finding interesting blogs. If someone leaves a comment that stands out I generally check their blog and more times than not I find an interesting blog. Which has also made me aware that when I'm out in the blogisphere making comments that others are doing the same, so I have to represent my blog well by leaving coherent comments (with as few typos and misspellings as possible).

All in all commenting is a activity in and of itself. I think one could occupy one's self for endless hours commenting. And I've noticed that there are a lot of people who don't have blogs that comment. So it seems that people other than me really enjoy the process.

All I can really hope for is that a comment or two of mine have had a positive effect on a blogger or someone else reading it. I know that I have read quite a few comments from others that have had a positive effect on me.

On Happiness...

It seems that there are a lot of people chasing happiness these days. It’s almost as if someone has made us a promise that happiness is a birth right. We do all sorts of things in the pursuit of happiness. We buy things, we take ‘prescribed’ drugs, we take trips, we move, you name it we do it trying to find this elusive thing called happiness.

I think we are aiming for the wrong emotion. Happiness is an extreme emotion. It's the opposite of sadness which is also an extreme emotion. So what's left then? How about contentment.

I don't think, even though we are led to believe, that happiness can be a constant. We can experience hours of happiness, days or even months of it. But it will always come to an end. And well it should, it would be rather exhausting being happy 24/7.

The same goes for sadness, although it's possible to maintain sadness for much longer periods of time than happiness. And without much effort.

But right in between happiness and sadness is an overlooked emotion. And that is contentment. I think of contentment as a state of acceptance. I don't mean that in order to be content that we have to simply except whatever is going on in our lives. I mean that we accept that everything is as it is for a reason. We don't often do that. Usually we kick and scream until things are the way we perceive they should be.

I am able to find contentment doing very simple things. I find it reading a good book, listening to great music, seeing a great film or sitting on my back porch just before dawn. And that is one of the interesting things to me, it's the simplest endeavours that lead to contentment for me rather than the grandiose things.

If your day is bad try knowing that a bad day provides contrast which allows us to enjoy a good or even a great day. That kind of simple acceptance I think can lead to contentment.

On Flea Markets...

I went to a flea market yesterday. I really love flea markets. I love the bargains you can find, but what I really love is the thrill of the hunt. Searching and searching through a vendor's things until you come upon that 'one thing'. Today it was a knock-off Louis V change purse for 2 bucks! In fact I bought two. (I recently found a knock-off Louis V backpack for $20)

You can find flea markets pretty much everywhere. Some people refer to them as swap meets, but I've always known them as simply flea markets. The term flea market comes from what is supposed to have been the first flea market, Marché aux Puces, in a suburb of Paris in the late 17th century. Flea refers to the flea infested clothes that were sold there.

There is a flea market, though I think they call this particular one a swap meet, in southern California at the Rose bowl stadium parking lot that is HUGE. I'm not sure if it's the largest in the country but it could be. There is also one in Tennessee that is actually held along a highway. The vendors set up and sell their wares from the shoulder of the road. That doesn't sound too safe but I think it's been going on for quite some time, so it can't be that bad.

When I lived in New York I frequented a flea market in Greenwich Village. I actually saw the singer Phyllis Hyman there once, she was fussing with a vendor about a price and seemed really, really angry. But in the middle of her argument I said hello and she turned to me and smiled and said hello, then she immediately went back to her haggling argument.

I'm not sure if everyone uses the term haggling or haggle, but that's what I grew up calling negotiating a price with someone like a flea market vendor. Actually that's one of the best parts of flea marketing. I love seeing something and asking the price then making a face that says that's way too much and starting to walk away, only to be called back and asked 'how much do want to pay?'. I smile on the inside when that happens but keep a poker face and usually end up with what I want at a good price.

A Poker face is absolutely required when haggling over a price for something you really want. Robert DeNiro's character in the film Heat said (paraphrasing) 'You have to be willing to walk away from everything in your life in a split second.' Well that's sort of like haggling over something you really, really want. You have to be prepared to walk away and you have to be able to look like it's no big deal to do so. If you look desperate or give away that you are totally crazy about the object of your affection, you're done. Once you start to walk away if the seller doesn't try to stop you, you just have to keep walking or end up paying the price.

My favorite things to buy at flea markets are music, knock-offs and movies. A few weeks ago I bought the movie The Departed for $5, and it wasn't a bootleg. I never buy bootleg music or movies (anymore) the quality is usually really bad. But knock-off designer bags, oh my, Dooney & Bourke, Prada, Louis V - and I'm in heaven.

I think a amazing vacation would be to pack up in a fancy RV with some friends in the spring of the year and go flea marketing coast to coast. I can imagine returning and all of us falling out of the RV with all of our loot tumbling out the door (me with a hundred or so knock-off designer bags!). Now that is my kind of vacation!

On just before dawn...

I love, love the early morning, a hour or two before dawn. I love the quiet, the stillness, the solitude. I love sitting on my back steps at 5 a.m., If it's clear, I can see the big dipper, if it's foggy, the outside world glows. Yes, it glows. The lights in the distance relect on the low fog and gives off a eerie, beautiful glow.

When I lived in New York, I loved to wander around Manhattan with my friends until just before dawn. The city was so amazing at 4 or 5 a.m. So quiet. We would take the subway home before the commuters started their trek. We took the 7 train home and I remember that after it reached Queens and came out of the tunnel onto the elevated tracks, if we were lucky we would catch the sunrise. It was so fun to look out from the train at the city that was still groggy from the night.

Now I love to wake up (I don't even need to set my alarm) and take a hot shower, only a candle as light in the house. Listening to whatever music feels right for that particular morning, maybe Sade's Diamond Life , or Vivaldi's The Four Seasons. After showering I like to just move slowly and immerse myself in the moment, not thinking about the upcoming day or work or any such things. Sometimes I read a chapter or two of a book, sometimes I just sit and listen, to the music or to the quiet.

I hope that one day I can share this beautiful time with someone. I hope that they will love it too. I doubt if they would want to wake every morning as I do, so early. And I don't think I would want the company every morning anyway. In the mean time, I'm going to keep love, loving my wondrous, amazing pre-dawn.

On blogging...

Waking up in the morning or coming home in the evening and seeing that I have comments on my blog is such a nice thing. When I started blogging (about a month and a half ago) I didn't really know what to expect. I at that point just thought it would be a fun hobby. I didn't know if anyone would ever even find my blog but I posted everyday. I posted about all sorts of different things, I've written and posted a few poems, I've posted about music, politics, current events, just what ever was of interest to me on that particular day. And the thing I still love the most is getting comments.

Getting comments makes my blog alive. It becomes more than just fingers to type pad it becomes interactive. My blog has become a tool to communicate. That's what I love. And it really doesn't matter if the comments agree with a point I've tried to make or disagree. I just enjoy knowing that a few people have taken the time to read my blog, which is important to me because I really put a lot of effort in to it.

Another thing I love is reading and commenting on other peoples blogs. There are so many wonderful blogs around. Some are so very serious, some are serious sometimes and not so serious other times. Some are very personal and more like diaries shared with the world.

Blogging has become a daily part of my life. It's a comforting routine. I'm sure that over time my blog will change in some ways, but the best part will always be the interaction. So to all of you who have taken the time to read my blog and comment, thanks. And to all of you who will at some point stop by and leave a comment, thanks in advance.

On Poetry...

Recently I have begun to publish some original poetry by me on this blog. It has been an interesting experience. I've never published any of my poetry before and only rarely have even let anybody read it. So there has been considerable anxiety that has come with clicking on the publish button. The best way I can describe it is this way, I in my life on a few occasions have had a little too much to drink. And on one or two of those occasions I have shared intimate thoughts with others. The following day I experienced what I call an intimacy hangover. Which is that feeling you get the day after you've told someone a few very personal feelings you are not sure you wanted to share. Well that's the feeling I get after I publish poetry on my blog. It's not a good feeling. Questions swirl in my head, "does anyone like it?", "does anyone get it?", "OMG did I really publish that?".

While blog surfing I have come across several blogs that are mostly poetry or writings about intimate feelings. I truly admire those bloggers. They, day after day share their most personal thoughts and feelings with the world. I'm sure that as I continue to publish I will continue to feel anxiety over it, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who hesitates sometimes for hours before finally clicking the PUBLISH button.