I wonder what ever happened to...

I had a friend in first grade and her name was Kajaka. In the middle of first grade she and her mom moved to California. The night before they left for California she and her mom spent the night at our house. I remember saying goodbye to her as she and her mom got in a cab for the airport the next morning.

After that her mom called a few times and I spoke to Kajaka. Eventually Kajaka and I lost touch. Every now and then I wonder what happened to my little first grade pal. I wonder where she lives, is she married with kids, is she a rocket scientist or maybe a school teacher?

I also wonder how my life might be different if she had not left N.Y. I wonder if we would have remained good friends, maybe even become best friends. I wonder if we would have gone to middle and high school together. I wonder if she would be my best friend right now.

I wonder if she eventually moved back to N.Y. and if maybe we walked past each other on the street and never even knew it or when I later lived in L.A. did we pass each other on a freeway.

Mainly though I just wonder and hope that where ever she is that she is okay.

I will never know.

But I remember my friend and every now and then I think of her and I guess I always will.

Do you ever wonder what about someone you once knew?

Is there anything better than...

(photo courtesy EAT - MANGOES - NEKKID blog)

I wrote a post about passion a few weeks ago. I went on about how I don't really feel a passion for anything of late. And how at other times in my life I always had a passion. Well I forgot something and that thing is love.

I have a passion for love.

I have always had a passion for being loved and being in love. And I'm not, definitely not, talking about platonic love. I'm talking about passionate, fiery, head over heals, grown-up love! Now that's something I've had and something I want to have again.

When you find passionate love it demands your undivided attention. It makes you late for work, it makes you forget about your friends, it makes you talk on the phone for hours unend.



And when you are in love, every thing is love; food is love, a good film is love, a song is love, a book is love, a sunset is love, a walk in a park is love, a cranberry scone is love, everything is love!

Is there a higher calling than being in love? I don't think so.

So as I said I was wrong, I still do have a passion for something. I have a passion for being in love. And being in love is without a doubt better than anything!

Do you agree?

Is being in love better than anything?

Different sides of the same coin?

Is this...

really that much worse than this...

or this?

What do you think?

Is a White man mocking Black women really that much worse than a Black man doing it?

Darn Daylight Savings Time

I hate Daylight Savings Time. I have about 10 different clocks to change! I have watches, DVD players, TVs, 2 alarm clocks, the clock on the stove and my darn answering machine (which is a pain to adjust). So we get a little more sunlight at the end of the day, big deal.

Does Daylight Savings Time drive you crazy too?

A blog reborn

A friend told me that she has heard more from me in the last week than she has in the last six months. Of course she was exaggerating but I got the point. It feels like I'm married to my blog. I seem to spend more time with it then any friend. But as all married people need time away from their spouses every now and then and I needed time away from my blog.

The first couple of days I didn't even miss blogging. I felt free having so much time in the evenings. I went out to dinner, spent some time with a friend, read, watched season 2 of The L Word (yes I know, I'm seriously behind) and yesterday I went for an amazing walk!

I'm getting the urge to spend some time again with my blog. A lot has gone on in the week that I've been away, politics, people in blackface, models suffering sad endings, models missing and found and Marion Jones reporting to Federal Prison. So I have a lot of things on my mind and thoughts to share.

It's time to get back to blogging, I will see you all bright and early on Monday morning!

A blog interrupted

I haven't taken a break from blogging since this past November and I have decided to take one now. As you may have noticed I post everyday. I love blogging so it is very enjoyable for me to do so but it is also a lot of work.

I take a lot of pride in my blog. I try to make sure that my posts are honest, well thought out and factual. I spend a good amount of time researching for my posts. I really feel as bloggers we have a responsibility to try to get the facts in our posts right.

I also spend a lot of time finding photos for my posts and for the "A Beautiful Picture" posts. It takes a lot time tracking down photos. I am really picky about the photos I select so I have been known to spend an hour searching for just one photo.

My music posts have become a joy for me. I love music and I love sharing music with all of you. Posting music has become a pillar of my blog. But as with most things associated with blogging, finding music takes a lot of time too. I generally post music that I have forgotten about. I guess you may be wondering how I find music that I have forgotten about? Well it's possible but not easy. Once again it requires a lot of researching. I spend a lot of time stumbling around the internet for songs and then try to find them on YouTube. But it's worth it! I love finding a song I haven't heard in a really long time and then sharing it with all of you.

Anyway my point is I spend many hours in front of my pc working on different aspects of my blog. I enjoy every moment of it but I need to take a little break. I just want to relax for a few days and read and comment on all of your blogs and there are a lot of blog archives I want to check out.

And since we are having this little conversation about my blog; I want to let you all know how much I love and appreciate your taking the time to comment on my blog. To me blogging is 50% posting and 50% about the comments. So thank you!

I'm not sure exactly how long of a break I'm going to take. I am totally addicted to blogging so I'm not sure how long I can stand to be away from my blog! I'm going to try though! So I will be back to posting in a few days, more than likely before the week is out.

I'll see you in the comments section of your blogs!

How do you deal with blogger burnout?

Skittles Magic Negro?

The first time I saw this Skittles commercial it seemed entertaining for about 10 seconds. Then I became uncomfortable watching it. There is just something about it that bothers me. Maybe it's the two young White people standing over this older Black man who is made to turn everything he touches in to skittles candy.

Is it just me or does anyone else find this commercial weirdly disturbing?

Vernacular

I have been participating in a great post at Undercover Black Man about Black slang words. The post is basically asking readers to think of words that have been used in the Black community that have made their way into the larger culture.

Black slang originally was a way for African Americans to communicate without being understood by Whites. This was vital during the time that African Americans were enslaved and afterword during the Jim Crow era.

Now most Black slang eventually makes its way into the mainstream. Mostly this happens through music and film. Some examples of those words are; dissed, Micky D's in place of McDonald's restaurant, crib, holla, dog, cheese and 5-0.

Other slang black slang words are that haven't quite yet made it to the larger culture are fiftyleven, hyphy, hella or hecka.

Then there is Black British slang with words like criss, which means everything is cool or okay. It doesn't seem that Black British slang makes its way to the U.S. very often.

It also occurred to me that there are White slang words that have made there way into popular culture. Words like dude, which can refer to a man or woman. Then there is dork and nerd. Also words like totally, duh and what - ever, which are Valley Girl slang words.

The amazing thing about slang is that once most slang words work their way into the mainstream, such as being heard in advertisements for corporations, they usually die out in the communities that they originated in.

Can you think of slang words that have not made it to the mainstream?

How many mainstream slang words can you list?

What slang word(s) do you use?

Snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory

Ruby Dee and Sidney Poitier in the original film version of A Raisin in the Sun

There is a lot that can be said is negative about the African American experience in America. Many of us face racism, whether blatant or subtle, on a daily basis. The media is constantly showing every negative image of us that it can find or manufacture.

So it's very easy as a blogger to focus on the bad and sometimes not recognize the good even when it's right in front of our faces. I have seen a really good example of people in the blogisphere focusing on the negative when it would have been just as easy and more productive to focus on the positive.

Monday night ABC aired a version of Lorraine Hansberry's classic American drama A Raisin in the Sun. Even before it aired I read many posts decrying it as a travesty. I repeat; that was before the broadcast even aired. Mainly it seemed that people were upset with the choice of Shawn Combs aka P. Diddy to play the role of Walter Lee.

Lorraine Hansberry

While I too believe that Shawn Combs acting ability is suspect at best, I was pleased to look forward to seeing African American faces on network television that would not be the usual stereotypes that we all complain about.

After the TV version aired many people compared ABC's version of A Raisin in the Sun to the original film starring Sidney Poitier, Ruby Dee and others. Sure it's tempting to compare the two but ultimately it's setting the TV version up for failure.

ABC's A Raisin in the Sun

It's not reasonable to compare a film made for theatrical release to one made for TV. There is less money involved in television productions, the talent on and off camera will likely be less experienced and sometimes less talented.

I watched Monday night's airing of A Raisin In The Sun and I was happy to see African Americans portrayed as complicated and thoughtful people. To see such portrayals is rare indeed on the small screen or even on the big screen.

We are fed a constant diet of comedy and buffoonery on TV. We see African Americans portrayed as criminals, and usually stupid criminals, whores, rappers and miscreants.

So I celebrate ABC's version of A Raisin In The Sun. Will it win any Emmy Awards? Likely not but it was an island of realness in a sea of stereotypes.

And for that I say bravo!

Hopefully all the negative chatter about the movie will not prevent other networks, either cable or broadcast, from stepping outside the norm and producing more films that tell unique slices of African American life.

ABC's A Raisin in the Sun was a victory, it was a victory for those of us who are tired of what's on BET and VH1 and rap videos and Tyler Perry films (that mock Black women). It's just too bad that many people were so busy looking for a defeat that they missed the victory.

Did you watch A Raisin in the Sun on ABC Monday Night?

What did you think of it?

My Sources

I am a news junkie and I've been one for a long time. Unfortunately most of the news outlets in the U.S. are pretty bad. Corporate media has made a mockery of good journalism. When big stories come around I find that the coverage from big media is lacking on many, many levels.

The terrible journalism of corporate media has forced me to seek out new and better sources of news.

I have come to depend on NPR (National Public Radio) for good unbiased news coverage. I listen to NPR on a daily basis and am rarely disappointed.

I have also found several good online news resources, such as the BBC. There are also many independent media outlets online. It's nice to know that even though corporate media dominates there are great alternatives.

Finally the place that I look for great commentary and opinion is not The New York Times but blogs. I have found great and insightful commentary on current events on blogs. In fact I would go so far as to say the commentary on many of my favorite blogs is much better than that of commercial media.

When I hear of a big news story and I want insight I go directly to blogs. The CNN's of the world are now just a distant bad memory.

Go Blogs!

Where do you get most of your news and opinion?

Do you rely on corporate media for news and information?

Black History Month: More firsts!

Freedom's Journal was the first African American owned and operated newspaper published in the United States. Published weekly in New York City from 1827 to 1829, the journal was edited by John Russwurm from March 16, 1827 to March 28, 1829 and later, Samuel Cornish served as co-editor (March 16, 1827 to September 14, 1827). Freedom's Journal was superseded by The Rights of All, published between 1829 and 1830 by S. E. Cornish.

Freedom's Journal provided international, national, and regional information on current - events and contained editorials declaiming slavery, lynching, and other injustices.

The Journal also published biographies of prominent African Americans and listings of births, deaths, and marriages in the African American community in New York. Freedom's Journal circulated in 11 states, the District of Columbia, Haiti, Europe, and Canada.

The newspaper employed subscription agents such as David Walker, who in 1829 published the first of four articles that called for rebellion.

The pamphlet "Walker's Appeal" stated, "...it is no more harm for you to kill the man who is trying to kill you than it is for you to take a drink of water..." This statement was widely read, with Walker distributing copies of his pamphlet into the Southern United States, where it was widely banned.

Text Attribution: Wikipedia, seethisitem.com

What calling?

Have you ever wondered what your true calling is? I wonder that. At different times in my life I've thought that I knew what my calling was. When I was in my teens I thought it was to be a ballerina. Then I thought it was to be a playwright. After that I thought it was to work in the film industry. Then I thought it was radio.

Well I guess you get the picture. Over time I have gone through many "callings". At this point in my life I'm not sure if I really have a calling. There really isn't anything that I can think of that I want to be the best at, that was always my idea of a calling, wanting to be the best at something.

It would really be nice to find another calling. I'd love to feel the passion of having a calling again.

Have you found your calling?

Has your calling changed over time?

Why I became a "vegetable - tarian"

I have a friend who has a niece that refers to people who eat nothing but vegetables as "vegetable - tarians", that is how she now refers to me. About a month ago I decided to transition from being a semi-vegetarian to being a vegetarian.

I had been thinking about becoming a vegetarian for quite some time but I suppose I needed something to push me over the edge. That thing was an announcement last month by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration that cloned meat would be entering the food supply at some unspecified time in the near future. They also announced that cloned meat would not be labeled as such.

I refuse to be a guinea pig for corporate meat producers and the FDA.

I am also a very picky vegetarian because of the influx of food from China and Mexico. Food items from these countries have been reported to be substandard and potentially harmful to humans for a variety of different reasons. One thing I have heard is that it is a common practice in Mexico to use human waste as a fertilizer.

So now I do not purchase food from those countries and also avoid food that is not labeled with its country of origin. This is a problem when shopping in most commercial food markets since many times they don't label their fruits and vegetables with the country they are grown.

I do most of my shopping now at a specialty market that gets most of its fruit and vegetables from within a few hundred miles. And they clearly label the origin of food grown outside of the U.S. I also shop at a few different local farmers’ markets.

I have even had to be very careful when buying fruit juice since a lot of fruits used to make commercial juice are grown in China. This is sometimes a problem because a lot of juices do not label the origin of the fruit used in the juice.

All of this might seem like a lot to go through but to me it's worth the trouble, I don't want to find out in five or ten years that food I have eaten was not safe and is likely to make me sick in the future.

The U.S. has allowed food safety to take a backseat to corporate profit. That is totally unacceptable. I hope food safety becomes an issue this election season.

Do you worry about food safety?

Are you concerned about food grown in China?

Thank you rap music!

I have in the last several years thought that there was absolutely nothing positive I could attribute to rap music.

But I was wrong.

Rap music has forced me to do something that in my life I have rarely done. And that is to actually listen to the lyrics of songs. When I was growing up and then into adulthood I never really paid much attention to the lyrics of songs. I listened to the music and my only thought was; is it danceable? If so then that was enough for me.

The only part of the lyrics that I usually knew was the hook. You know, the part of the song that catches your attention. Like Karyn White's song Superwoman; the only thing I really remember is the hook, "I'm not your super woman". The rest of the lyrics are a blur.

But in the early 90's that all changed. At a certain point I found myself buying and dancing to songs that if they had been written and performed by the Ku Klux Klan they would have caused an uproar in Black America. But those songs, with the racist and misogynist lyrics, performed by Black artists seemed to skate by without much notice.

I remember when C. Delores Tucker was campaigning against rap music lyrics in the early 90's. Her protests got a lot of media coverage. I however didn't really pay attention to what she was saying until one day when I really heard a rap song. I don't remember what song it was but I do remember having a sudden realization that rap had changed.

Rap music had transformed from pro-Black groups like Public Enemy (before Flava lost his mind) and X-Clan to NWA and Biggie Smalls. Instead of hearing about the plight of African Americans and what we needed to do to make changes rap became about wallowing in the mire.

It, rap music, became about the names Black people can be called. It became about celebrating the things that plagued Black America; drugs, prostitution, unbridled consumerism, the N word, the B word, the H word and anything else that many African Americans suffered from.

So that's when I began to pay attention to lyrics. It was really a self-defense mechanism. I didn't want to feel like a fool jamming to a song that was calling me a whore or a bitch. So no longer was it okay for me to ignore the lyrics and dance to the beat. I had to grow up musically and pay attention.

Now as I dig deep into the oldies bin over at YouTube I am hearing the lyrics of my favorite songs for the first time. I must say that I am mostly pleasantly surprised. That's because I am finding out that most of the songs I love from "Back in the day" were about love or being hurt or looking for love or just having fun.

I am really proud to hear the lyrics of these songs and to know that the music of my youth was mostly uplifting. I feel so sorry for kids who are growing up on rap music which is about hating woman and Black people.

What are they going to think years from now when they start to really listen to the music of their youth? Will they feel betrayed? Will they feel sad to know that their innocence was corrupted by rap music and the big corporations that produce it?

Yep I definitely owe rap a big thank you.

Do you think kids growing up now will feel cheated in 10 or 15 years by the corporate rap music they're growing up listening to?

I'm it!

I was tagged by Tami of What Tami Said for The Three Pieces of Writing Advice tag/ meme. And even though I am not a professional writer I'll give it a try.

Be passionate!

My first rule is to write about things that interest me. If I'm not interested in something I'm writing about it shows. Being passionate about the subject is the most important thing.

Don't edit yourself!

On my first draft I allow myself to go nuts. I write whatever is in my head on the subject. I don't worry about length or grammar. I just let it flow. This to me is an important step in the writing process. It's during this stage that I get the truest expression. This is the stage that allows me to understand the point of my post.

When I say understand I mean that without the edit going in my head I can get a clear picture of my thoughts on a particular subject. I've tried writing with editing in mind at this stage and I never get my point across properly.

Edit yourself!

After I have allowed myself the abandon of writing without worrying about length or grammar then it's time to edit. This is the trickiest part of the process.

One of my favorite things about writing is trying to say what I want to say in as few words as possible. This can be both a blessing and a curse. On many occasions I have over edited which means I haven't made my point the way that I have wanted to.

I routinely start the editing process by deleting paragraph after paragraph. It's not unusual for me to start the editing process with 10 paragraphs and pare a post down to 3 paragraphs. I get a thrill out of saying what I want to say with as few words as possible. This can be problematic though. Often I don't quite hit the mark I was looking for.

Sometimes I edit just a little too deeply. When this happens the comments I get usually reflect that people think I am making a point that I am not actually trying to make. It's actually a good learning experience. I have gotten better at not cutting too much from a post.

But when I get it right and use an economy of words and make the point I want it's a wonderful feeling!


I'm supposed to tag three bloggers and they are;

Undercover Black Man - Because he's an expert on the subject.
Symphony at Essential Presence - I love the passion in her writing.
The Black Actor - Because I love the joy and flow of her writing.

What is your writing process?

The lost art of the billet-doux

The French refer to it as a billet-doux, a love letter. I still remember the first love letter I ever received. I was thirteen and had met someone over the summer at camp. I remember my mother telling me I had a letter. Previous to that the only letters I'd received were from my grandmother or my mom when I went away for the summer.

I can still feel the joy I felt upon receiving that letter. I remember holding it in my hand an how thick and heavy it felt; and seeing the name and the return address of my first love. Okay well it wasn't real love it was puppy love but it surely felt real at the time.

There is nothing like getting a letter from someone that you love and who loves you. It's amazing knowing that they have taken the time to find paper, then sit and put pen to paper; to know that they have taken the time to craft their feelings into words.

There is a kind of satisfaction and joy which cannot ever be replaced by an email. And to think there is now a generation of people who have reached maturity during the computer age who have never received an honest-to-goodness love letter.

An email is quick and easy. There isn't a search for just the right stationary, there is no selecting just the right pen and the scent of the object of your affection cannot be contained in an email.

As fast and efficient as an email is it can never take the place of a wonderfully handwritten billet-doux.

Do you remember the first love letter you ever received?

Do you remember the joy you felt upon receiving it?

I collect!

When I lived in N.Y there were two 24 hour outdoor magazine stands. One was in Greenwich Village and the other was off of Lexington Avenue near the 59th street Bridge. In the summer I would sometimes get in my car at 1 or 2 am and drive to one of them to buy magazines. I loved magazines, mainly fashion like Elle and Vogue but also interior design magazines like Casa Vogue.

I used to spend a fortune on them. And I always bought two of them. One I would use to cut out the fashions I liked and the other to save. Back then I still read Essence magazine and would collect them. I had years of issues of Essence magazines.

Throughout my life I have had other things I liked to collect; like fridge magnets from places I have visited, airline ticket jackets and luggage tags, and radio station stickers from all over the world.

I bought this sticker on eBay, it cost $30 along with another one.

I collected the airline stuff when I worked for an airline; I had tags from airlines all over the world. I still collect radio station stickers. I have them from all over; Italy, France, Canada, even Syria and Iran. I began collecting those when I worked in radio.

I also collect (don't laugh) Sasha Bratz dolls. I love them and have about 7 now. I also have a few Scary Spice dolls and 3 WNBA dolls. I started collected dolls about three years ago.

Sasha Bratz Rock Angelz was the first doll in my collection.

I don't know why I collect stuff. I just enjoy it. I enjoy finding the stuff and displaying it. I wouldn't say collecting is an obsession but I do really get into it.

Do you collect anything?

If so have you ever thought about why you collect?

Oh no what's my password?!

I have so many passwords to so many different things its hard to keep track of them. It can really be maddening. When did this start to happen? At some point passwords took over my life.

I have about 10 different email accounts. I have passwords to my personal blog, I have a password for another blog that I do for work, I have Amazon.com passwords, eBay passwords, itunes passwords, debit card passwords, and the list just goes on and on!

I even have to remember a password to get into work!

I have a password manager on my computer and that helps a bit. But there are certain passwords I don't want to keep in the password manager for security's sake.

It has gotten to the point where I have password amnesia sometimes. There are occasions when you can find me sitting in front of my computer staring blankly at the screen trying to remember what password goes to what.

Even some online news sites want you to register and make a password. I'm sorry but I refuse to register for those sites anymore. There is no way I can remember additional passwords just to read The Washington Post or the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

I have to find a better way to handle password overload and soon!

Do you have too many passwords?

How do you keep track of them?

Passion...

Every now and then I take stock of my life in different ways. Recently I had a thought about what inspires passion in me.

I am passionate about; being in love, radio, the well being of Black women, music, books, film, travelling, and learning. There are more things that I feel passionate about but those are on my mind at the moment.

What are you passionate about?

I can't believe she just did that...

Yesterday I read a post over at Anali's Blog Anali's First Amendment about Nutella. I had debated several times in the past if I wanted to try it. I'm a big fan of apple butter but I thought Nutella might make a nice change of pace.

Never heard of Nutella? Well Wikipedia describes it this way; "Nutella is the brand name of a hazelnut-based sweet spread created by the Italian company Ferrero."

Anyway after reading Anali's post I decided to stop and get some on the way home from work. I stopped at the market picked up a jar of Nutella and a package of whole wheat English muffins. I headed to the check out and waited in line.

Just as the grocery checker finished with the person in front of me, she sneezed, right into her hands. And without missing a beat she then grabbed my package of English muffins, scanned them, then did the same with my jar of Nutella.

I stood there for a moment kind of shocked that someone could be so clueless then I turned and walked away. I went back through the grocery aisles and got another pack of English muffins and another jar of Nutella. Then I waited in a different line, paid for my things and left.

As I passed the checkout of the sneezer she had the nerve give me a crazy look. I just kept going.

I'll admit I'm a germaphobe but even if I wasn't sneezing into your hands and then handling someone's food is totally unacceptable.

Should I have said something to her other than giving her the side eyes?

What would you have done?